CyberChat #15
As a parent, my worst nightmare is that my child will be harmed, whether that be physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Before I started working with SafetyNet® nearly 10 years ago, I wasn’t aware of how easily our children could be lured by predators on the internet. Like many other parents, I assumed that if I taught my child not to talk to strangers, I was keeping her safe. But now that stranger is on my child’s devices, and the young mind assumes that if they have a conversation with someone online, that person is no longer a stranger, therefore there is nothing scary about cultivating a relationship.
This issue of CyberChat will help to foster the conversations between parent and child on what to look out for and how to be aware of predatory behavior online.
WENDY WADDELL
SafetyNet® Program Manager
Child Predators
“Child predators” is not a comfortable topic, however, it is an important one. As a community, we need to be able to recognize predatory behavior and assist victims when needed. Part of this process involves sticking to the facts. It is essential that we dispel the myth that child predators are often strangers: 90% of victimized children are targeted by an adult in their circle of familiarity. Since the child predator is already a part of their victim’s life, they likely already have access to target them.
Predatory Tactics
Listed below are some common tactics that predators use to target children. The tactics included may be used by predators in person and/or online.
- Reciprocation – “I’ll show you if you show me.”
- Pretending to work for a modeling agency to obtain sexual images of the child.
- Developing a bond with the child by establishing a friendship or romantic relationship.
- Using multiple false online identities to contact a child.
- Accessing the child’s online account without authorization and stealing sexual images or videos of the child.
- Threatening to create sexual images or videos of the child using digital editing tools.
- Pretending to be younger and/or a member of the opposite sex.
- Offering incentives such as a gift card, alcohol, drugs, lodging, transportation or food.
- Engaging in activities children enjoy such as playing online games that are geared to younger audiences so they can easily interact with children.
- Using secrets to manipulate children into not telling adults about uncomfortable situations
- Physically or emotionally isolating the child.
Grooming and Enticement
It is important to know what grooming and enticement are in the context of child predators. Grooming is a method by which sexual predators engage children and their caretakers so that the abuse can occur with minimal risk of detection. There are three types of grooming. This report by Safe Kids Thrive breaks them down:
- Physical grooming involves desensitization to touch. Starting with innocent pats on the back or arm, an acceptable form of touching a younger person, the predator progresses the touch. Over time, this conditions the child to increased levels of physical contact.
- Psychological grooming can be used on both the child and their family. Predators spend time with their victims; they show children attention and use any possible method of communication that allows the child to feel that the predator understands them. Predators may ultimately isolate and confuse the child into feeling responsible for, or complicit in the abuse (one of the primary reasons children do not report).
- Community grooming is the way in which predators create a controlled environment around themselves. Predators are skilled in projecting an image to others that they are responsible and caring citizens. As a result, they are placed in positions of trust, are allowed unmonitored or unsupervised access to children, and are thereby given greater access to their eventual victims.
Enticement can occur in person or online. Enticement refers to the act of luring or persuading someone, believed to be a child, to engage in illegal sexual activity or to meet in person for sexual purposes. In 2024, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) Cyber Tipline received more than 456,000 reports of online enticement. Enticement can evolve into sextortion, which we will cover in our next issue.
In the News
It is important to remember that child predators don’t have a specific look—they can be anyone. In May of this year, a support aide who was a contracted worker at Mar Vista High School in Imperial Beach was arrested on suspicion of having a sexual relationship with a student. The 31-year-old woman is suspected of sexually assaulting a 17-year-old student at the high school. In 2024, the associate principal of Hoover High was taken into custody on suspicion of distributing lewd content and possession of child pornography. Police say they launched an investigation after a minor indicated the administrator allegedly sent and requested illicit messages on social media.
How to Support a Victim
Remember that the child predator is to blame, not the child. Even if the child made a choice they regret, they are the victim. Collect and report any evidence of abuse and/or blackmail to local authorities.
If the child was targeted online, report the account via the platform’s safety or reporting feature. Block the suspect, but do not delete the child’s profile or messages because these can be helpful in stopping the online predator.
Engage in an honest and non-judgmental dialogue with the child. Seek resources that may help them heal from their trauma. One resource that may be helpful is the FBI Victim Services webpage.
Did You Know?
Did you know that you can look up the location of registered sex offenders in your community? Because of Megan’s Law, the public has access to information from the California Sex and Arson Registry (CSAR), the state’s repository for sex offender information. We recommend you use this resource to stay informed and help keep your family safe.
Resources
- Safe Kids Thrive Report
- How Child Sexual Predators Groom Children
- The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
- How We Can Help You – FBI Victim Services
- California Department of Justice Megan’s Law Website
SafetyNet: Smart Cyber Choices® is a collaborative program of the San Diego Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force (SD-ICAC) and the San Diego Police Foundation. It is designed to help kids, parents, educators, and concerned adults learn how to keep kids safe online.