Cyberchat #9
Dear Friend,
What is more uncomfortable than talking to your kids about sex? Talking to your kids about sexting. Unfortunately, it has become such a normal part of many teenagers’ lives that, as parents, we need to start having these conversations more frequently. Even more important than the frequency is the honesty and openness of these conversations about such a delicate topic. In the nine years that I have been a part of SafetyNet®, I have learned that this is the single biggest issue our middle schools deal with across the country. Not only do I talk to other people’s children about sexting, I’ve also educated myself on how to talk to my own 14-year-old daughter about it. Hopefully, this edition of CyberChat will help open the doors of communication with you and your children so you can tackle these tough topics together. I stand with you, and I promise it’s not as uncomfortable as it seems.
WENDY WADDELL
SafetyNet® Program Manager
Sexting is defined as the action or practice of sending sexually explicit photographs, messages, and/or videos via mobile device.
How common is sexting among children?
- 1 in 4 teenagers have sexted.
- 15% have participated in sexting with a stranger.
- 14% have forwarded a sext without consent.
- 35% have received a sext.
- 78% said they hadn’t faced any consequences for sexting.
Keep in mind that the data above is based on behavior that was self-reported. Most of this behavior is not reported.
What many youths do not consider is that once a sext is sent to someone else, it is forever out of their control. This can leave the sender vulnerable to bullying, sexual violence, or blackmail such as sextortion. Teens who sext with a partner are 4x more likely to experience sexual violence in their relationship.
Snapchat is the most used medium for sexting because teens believe the images and videos they send will disappear. This is not true. Content on Snapchat can be screen recorded or screenshotted, existing permanently on another personal device. Additionally, any content uploaded to the app becomes the property of the app and exists on Snapchat’s servers.
According to this 2020 Cybersurvey:
- 38% of students engaged in sexting because they were in a relationship.
- 17% had their image shared without their consent.
- 14% were bullied or harassed for sending a sext.
- 14% were pressured or threatened to send more images.
If an explicit image gets into the wrong hands, the consequences can be detrimental.
You are about to read a disturbing but true story. Reader discretion is advised.
Hope Witsell was a 13-year-old girl from Florida who sent a topless picture of herself to a boy she liked. Another girl borrowed his phone, found the image, and forwarded it to other students, who forwarded it to even more students. After weeks of brutal harassment regarding the photo, Hope ended her life.
Do you know it is illegal for a minor to participate in sexting?
Most youths aren’t aware of the legal consequences of sexting. However, it is illegal for a minor to produce, distribute, solicit, or possess sexually explicit images of themselves or other minors. This falls under California’s child pornography and sexual exploitation laws, which can result in felony penalties.
While you may be familiar with the term “child pornography,” law enforcement agencies refer to this material as “CSAM,” which stands for Child Sexual Abuse Material. This term recognizes that child abuse occurs as the material is created and when it is distributed. The production of CSAM creates a permanent record of the child’s victimization.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) works closely with technology industry partners to help reduce child sexual abuse material that circulates on the internet. If your child has shared sexually explicit material with someone and it is on the internet, Take it Down may be able to help. Take It Down is a free service that can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of you when you were under 18 years old. It is not 100% effective but may help mitigate some of the material on certain platforms.
What can you do as a parent/guardian?
Have an honest and open conversation with your child. It is important to cultivate open communication so that they feel comfortable turning to you if they do make a mistake and run into trouble. They may not want to disclose to you that they have participated in or received a sext because they are afraid of losing access to their devices or because they are embarrassed to disclose this to you. Be a safe space for your child.
Resources
- California Sexting Laws for Teens and Minors
- Teen Sexting: A Brief Guide for Educators and Parents
- Sexting: How to Talk With Kids About the Risks
- Take It Down
- San Diego Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force
- National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
Safety Tips
- Enable parental controls on all devices your kids use.
- Consider installing parental controls that allow you to lock apps, limit screen time, and block inappropriate sites.
- Check their photos and apps.
- See if they have a “Hidden” folder in their photos app.
- Talk to your kids about these issues.
- Remain calm and approachable.
OurPact’s View Feature
As our kids move in a digital world, it is essential to teach them about the digital footprint that they leave and remind them that the content they share and like, pictures, videos, and texts they send – no longer belongs to them and can potentially be used against them. Understanding what your children are talking about and sharing with their peers and others can help parents prepare for tough conversations and intervene if needed. Management tools like OurPact’s View can help parents gain insight into how their child uses their device and help quickly identify and sort any concerning material captured. Learn how to use OurPact’s View feature to gain more insight into your child’s digital life. More details here.
The Police Foundation recently received a grant from San Diego Gas & Electric to propel the success of our SafetyNet: Smart Cyber Choices® education program, which is designed to help kids, parents, educators, and concerned adults learn how to keep kids safe online. Together with SDGE, we are building a brighter future for all.
SafetyNet: Smart Cyber Choices® is a collaborative program of the San Diego Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force (SD-ICAC) and the San Diego Police Foundation. It is designed to help kids, parents, educators, and concerned adults learn how to keep kids safe online.